It's So Effective

This blog has a lot in common with Mitchum brand antiperspirant. Aside from smelling great and feeling slightly waxy to the touch; it's so effective, you could skip a day. And that's what I did.

Yesterday was pretty uneneventful, anyway. The highlight was Katrina's chicken adobo and the 5-layer Mexican dip I prepared. It all turned out pretty well. Hell, the term "5-layer Mexican dip," alone, brings with it promises of joy and happiness.

I also accompanied Katrina to mass yesterday. We were late and for some reason it was so crowded we had to stand along the side wall. Catholic mass is a such a scripted event with the only differences being the hymns sung and the 7-10 minute homily given by the priest. All the standing, sitting and kneeling happens on cue, as if intended to keep you from sleeping. But yesterday, the homily was actually pretty interesting. The priest spoke about Joel Osteen, a Houston based televangelist, and his world-famous Lakewood Church. Apparently he was interviewed on Fox News Channel and said his church's massive success was due to the fact that it is not "churchy." "We don't have crosses up there. We believe in all that, but I like to take the barriers down that have kept people from coming." That statement seemed to annoy the priest in big way, what with the cross being the centerpiece of the whole Catholic religion. The congregation also began murmuring to that effect. "Not only do we have crosses," said the priest, "but we actually put a dying body on it." He went on to say (which I also believe) that the Lakewood Church, and others like it, preach not the "gospel of faith," but the "gospel of prosperity," meaning if you believe and give money, you will have health, wealth and happiness in return. He also says that he minds that Lakewood calls itself a "church" as he sees it more as a "motivational center." He says he thinks they do good work as a motivational center, but when asked, recently, what he thought of the "new competition," he responded with "we're not in the same business." End of homily. He turned and walked back from his lectern. Then I saw something I've never seen at a mass. The congregation actually applauded. It was a strong and unanimously spontaneous applause, too. Now, I'm not catholic, but I do agree with him. I might even go further and say that many televangelists are frauds. Almost like traveling witch doctors that use God's name to defend their actions. They offer something they cannot give in return for something (usually money) which his target demographic generally cannot give, but do.