Oops! I Did it Again

Louis Armstrong

Here's something funny I came across. It seems Loius Armstrong did a song sixty years ago called "Oops! I Did it Again." Make sure your speakers are turned up so you can hear the fake analog hiss. Nice attempt, though.

Today...

I went on a job interview, today. I hope all goes well. I tried to take a different route back home than the one I used to get there and I subsequently got lost. That's fine, though. It's 100% better than getting lost on the way there. Currently, it's after midnight and if I was still lost even until now, I wouldn't have missed anything important - except for watching Mark Prior and the Cubs embarrass the Cincinnati Reds to the tune of seven runs to one.

The Ultimate Food

Made With Real** Cheese


Well, I think this should just about do it. José Olé has personally delivered me into the warm embrace of eternal bliss. I've recently stumbled upon the frozen food equivalent of nirvana. Mini Tacos have come into my life, and I'm telling you now, they're here to stay.

We recently went to the grocery store and spent about $80.00 on food. We bought all the usual stuff: milk, fruit, cereal, meat, bread, José Olé Mini Tacos, and so on. But I kinda’ wish we had just bought all José Olé Mini Tacos. You know what I mean? When I tried them for the first time, I had that Herman's Hermits song, I'm Into Something Good in my head for the rest of the day. But instead of the words "girl," "her" and "she," I substituted with "Mini Tacos" or occasionally "José Olé."

Unfortunately, I suffered second and third degree burns around the mouth and chin area. The directions suggested cooking them at 425°F, and I did, but they inexplicably came out of the oven at about 1354°F. And nowhere on the box does it warn against immediately consuming them after baking.

But hey, when you're caught up in the throes of ecstasy, the line between pleasure and pain becomes blurred and you just have to 'go with it.'

Pizza of my Discontent

If you ever find yourself in Houston, Texas, and in the mood for pizza, do yourself a favor and stay away from Pizza Venise at 3407 Montrose Blvd. Let me explain.

Up until this point, I thought I had found a pizza parlor not far from my apartment I can depend on for a cheap, halfway decent meal. But last night, the only things on the menu were lies and deception. You see, I called them up to order the 'one large, one topping for $5.99' deal. It's a thin crust, New York Style pie which, for the price, is not bad. I also asked for one extra topping making it sausage and extra cheese. You have to order extra cheese since they normally only sprinkle about three shreds of mozzarella per slice. Anyhow, I arrive at the store 15 minutes later and told the Asian guy at the counter I was there to pick up my order. Here's how the conversation went:

Me: Hi, I'm here for the large sausage and
extra cheese.

Guy: I'm sorry?

Me: One large sausage and extra cheese...

Guy: No, I thought you say just extra
cheese.

Me: No, I ordered sausage, too.

Guy: Tell you what, I'll put sausage on your
pizza. Give me...three minutes.

Me: Uhhh, are you sure it'll be cooked?

Guy: (unintelligible)

Me: Okay.

Sheepishly, I walk over to sit at a table, already beginning to despair. I'm not as resolute as I'd like to be in these situations. I noticed a bookrack with a sign taped on saying to take any of the literature home if you'd like. Interestingly, every book (all thin paperbacks with several duplicates of each) is on the subject of Buddhism. As it tuned out, the Asian guy who I was dealing with actually owns the shop and is originally from Vietnam. This also explains the entire wall painted with a passage by the Dali Lama. Wow. Pizza Venise, a Vietnamese-owned pizza parlor with free Buddhist literature and Dali Lama passages exquisitely painted on the walls.

About a minute later he came over and said he'd cook me a new pizza and asked if I could wait about seven minutes. This did little to assuage my concerns, but I accepted. When it was "done," he called me over to the counter to pay. He opened the box to show me a pizza strangely covered with some sort of crumbled sausage. It was obviously applied after the cheese had melted. What he said went as follows:

Guy: I'm trying out this new kind of sausage, but I don't know if people will like it. It smells really good!

Me: Really? Do you like it?

Guy: I don't know. I never tried it.

Me: Oh.

Guy: Tell me what you think, and if you don't like it, I'll switch back to the old kind.

Me: I liked the old kind.

Guy: Okay, I'll switch back!


It felt a little strange having just changed their sausage policy. I only wished I could have made my new law retroactive and apply it to my pizza, too.

Oh, well.

Knowing I was being rooked, and too hungry and tired to complain, I took it home and tried to eat it. And of course, all the sausage rolled off each slice as I picked it up. I guess I need a new pizza place.

Back to the drawing board.

We've got movie sign

Mike and the 'bots

While flipping through the pages of today's Houston Chronicle, I came across a nice little write-up about Mystery Science Theater 3000. Right under the headline, it says:

“Mike, Tom Servo and Crow are back to make a mockery of cheesy films.”

Well, that’s not entirely true, of course. What the article’s really about is Legend Films’ colorized DVD releases of some movies featuring commentary tracks with the Mike and the guys who voiced the robots on MST3k. Basically, it’s MST3k minus the silhouettes and the host segments. The first will be The Three Stooges in Color, a collection of four shorts due on April 26. Mike Nelson has already recorded solo commentaries for such films as Reefer Madness and Night of the Living Dead.

It’s all good news, but Nelson sort of puts to rest any hopes for a return of MST3k by saying its ownership "is kind of spread out, and it would be difficult." Now, is he talking about the old episodes and movie rights or the MST name and its characters? My guess would be the latter. Still a caption under the photo in the article suggests "new installments of Mystery Science Theater 3000." Being the nerd that I am, I sent the writer of the article a polite e-mail asking what the real deal was. He sent back an interesting response...

Hi, Mr. Westbrook.

I enjoyed your write-up in today's paper about MST3k. But I'm curious. Most fans have written off any idea of a full-fledged return of MST3k. And while Legend Films' upcoming DVD releases are exciting, the caption under the photo of Mike and the 'bots reads:

"Play MST for me: Mike Nelson is joined by his robot companions, Tom Servo, left, and Crow T. Robot, in new installments of Mystery Science Theater 3000."

"New installments of Mystery Science Theater 3000" and DVD commentary tracks are two different things. Nelson said in the article that ownership is spread out and [a return] would be difficult. Is he talking about the movie rights in old MST3k episodes or ownership of the MST3k name and its characters?

Thanks,
Clint Keene


Clint:

I share your pain. The only thing I wrote is what's under my byline: the story itself. Cutlines, headlines and the page one promo for the story were all written by various copy editors, who didn't seem to read the story. Sorry for their perplexing confusion.

As for what Mike what talking about, I think it's the ownership of the MST3K brand, if you will, which is a legal situation. I'm not so sure that would keep MST3K from flying again if there was genuine interest by a cable channel, though.

Thanks for writing.

Bruce Westbrook
Houston Chronicle

Here's a link to the online version of the article. (EDIT: The Link is no longer active. Too old, I guess. And I will not pay for a "Houston Chronicle Archive Pass")

Pope-a-palooza!

Over the last week, I feel like we've been bombarded with more dead Pope coverage than I think is necessary. I know the man was a moral and religious leader to millions and I won't deny him his due props. I'm just talking about the way our media glamorizes death. Most news outlets literally couldn't wait for him to die. In fact, Fox News Channel mistakenly broke the story a FULL DAY early. Is it a reflection of our own morbid curiosity? And if so, when and how did we develop this hunger for bad news? I remember when Scott Peterson was convicted of killing his wife and unborn son, there was a crowd gathered around the break room television at the office where I used to work. When the verdict was announced, one woman came out of there running past my cubicle and screeching in a sick sort of glee. I guess we just really get caught up in this kind of stuff.

It's sad because it seems like a lot of the people who pretend to care so much about the Pope now that he's dead probably knew him as little more than a nice old man who wore big ornate hats and spoke in Latin before massive crowds of foreign people. Maybe that's true, maybe not. It just seems that way. At least, it served to distract the nation from its bizarre fascination with the whole Terry Schiavo debacle. Forget about all the serious questions it raised. No sooner were they pulling the feeding tube from her stomach, they were inserting one into the Pope's nose. And with those pre-processed nutritional calories went the world's attention.

Wait a minute!

How come nobody told me about THIS?

And everything under the sun is in tune...

The moon got in the way of the sun again today. Actually, it only took a small bite off the edge as far as the U.S. was concerned. Here's my pathetic attempt at photographing it.



Not even worth posting, really

Inaugural Post

BLOG TIME!

Okay, let's resume some modicum of dignity here. Like the first day of class, nothing much will be discussed here today. Refer to your syllabus.

In the meantime, here's something neat I saw in Wisconsin once.

(and a test to see if I can post pictures)