New Music Wednesday

I recently got a couple of new import CD's in the mail. They're both by Ian Broudie. One is his new "solo" album called Tales Told and the other is an EP called Smoke Rings which is a song of off of the aforementioned album (plus three other songs). If his name doesn't ring a bell, he's the singer from The Lightning Seeds. Now, if "The Lightning Seeds" doesn't ring a bell, they had a moderately successful song in the States called "Pure" back in 1989/1990. They also have a song called "Change" which can be heard during a montage scene in the movie, Clueless. They also did a cool version of The Turtles' "You Showed Me." In my opinion, he's one of the best songwriters currently working; and one of my top four all-time favorite songwriters from Liverpool. In reality, he is The Lightning Seeds in much the same way that Robert Smith is The Cure. So, what makes this a "solo" album, then? There were a couple players on the last couple 'Seeds records who were not present for this one. But mostly, I'd say it's the departure from the Lightning Seeds style. They have a sound that has been called "perfect pop." These songs are more introspective and mostly all acoustic. He has said he's been listening to other songwriters such as Nick Drake and Johnny Cash, and it shows. There's also a hidden instrumental track that sounds like it was straight from the Pet Sounds sessions.

While this record isn't bursting with little pop gems like a typical 'Seeds album, I like it for what it is. It's one of those records that reveals its charms slowly, and, as such, requires repeat listenings to fully enjoy it.

What Subtle Aroma?

When buying wine, nowadays, I'm reminded of how silly wine descriptions can sound. If you've ever been to a wine shop or looked through any guides, you'd know what I mean. You can also watch the movie Sideways for more on the topic. We went to a place called The Houston Wine Merchant where I literally goggled at some of the $325.00 bottles they had on the shelves. I know they go even higher than that - way higher, in fact. I bought a simple $11.95 bottle, tasted some Pinot Noir and a Chardonnay and that was it. Anyway, here are some humorous sounding descriptions I've come across:

"Superripe aromas of bitter cherry, flowers and cola, with a suggestion of aged steak."

"...comforting flavors of cocoa and deep black cherry with toffee notes."

"Its inky/black/purple color is accompanied by superb aromas of white flowers, chocolate, black fruits, and espresso roast."

"...it should be cellared for 5-8 years. Anticipated maturity: 2012-2025+"

"A mix of strawberry, cola, spice, smoke, oak, toast, mushroom..."

"Wild blackberry pie, Bing cherry, vanilla and barnyard nose"

When drinking wine, "barnyard aromas" are something I'd rather not have to think about. However, I'd love to get the rich flavors of cola, smoke, mushroom and toast into one bottle. There's your three-hundred dollars, I say.

If I reviewed wine, I'd take it a step further:

The aroma of springtime melon overrides the presence of a slightly froggy nose with just a smidgen of backyard dirt.

Or maybe:

A subtle, meaty flavor that puts one in the mind of Gaucho™ brand cartoned beef with a delicate finish of red Play-Doh and bananas.

It's So Effective

This blog has a lot in common with Mitchum brand antiperspirant. Aside from smelling great and feeling slightly waxy to the touch; it's so effective, you could skip a day. And that's what I did.

Yesterday was pretty uneneventful, anyway. The highlight was Katrina's chicken adobo and the 5-layer Mexican dip I prepared. It all turned out pretty well. Hell, the term "5-layer Mexican dip," alone, brings with it promises of joy and happiness.

I also accompanied Katrina to mass yesterday. We were late and for some reason it was so crowded we had to stand along the side wall. Catholic mass is a such a scripted event with the only differences being the hymns sung and the 7-10 minute homily given by the priest. All the standing, sitting and kneeling happens on cue, as if intended to keep you from sleeping. But yesterday, the homily was actually pretty interesting. The priest spoke about Joel Osteen, a Houston based televangelist, and his world-famous Lakewood Church. Apparently he was interviewed on Fox News Channel and said his church's massive success was due to the fact that it is not "churchy." "We don't have crosses up there. We believe in all that, but I like to take the barriers down that have kept people from coming." That statement seemed to annoy the priest in big way, what with the cross being the centerpiece of the whole Catholic religion. The congregation also began murmuring to that effect. "Not only do we have crosses," said the priest, "but we actually put a dying body on it." He went on to say (which I also believe) that the Lakewood Church, and others like it, preach not the "gospel of faith," but the "gospel of prosperity," meaning if you believe and give money, you will have health, wealth and happiness in return. He also says that he minds that Lakewood calls itself a "church" as he sees it more as a "motivational center." He says he thinks they do good work as a motivational center, but when asked, recently, what he thought of the "new competition," he responded with "we're not in the same business." End of homily. He turned and walked back from his lectern. Then I saw something I've never seen at a mass. The congregation actually applauded. It was a strong and unanimously spontaneous applause, too. Now, I'm not catholic, but I do agree with him. I might even go further and say that many televangelists are frauds. Almost like traveling witch doctors that use God's name to defend their actions. They offer something they cannot give in return for something (usually money) which his target demographic generally cannot give, but do.

Oh, Well

So much for seeing a movie tonight. We were going to catch The Aristocrats next week and catch a late showing of Groundhog Day at the River Oaks Theater at midnight, but then it began pouring and thundering and decided to stay home. It's been a full day, anyway.

Off

Today was my first day off in about eight days. I slept like a bear this morning. It was nice and sunny, so I took a short bike ride to the grocery and bought some wine and a few things - only what can fit into a backpack and cooked out on the grill for dinner. Then, it was time for a little combat strategy action with Advance Wars (the first GBA version) on the DS. After that, I typed this.

And now, I'm gone.

*poof*

Nap Time

It's 10:43pm and I just woke up from a two hour nap. I laid down my precious head at around 8:15 and woke up feeling refreshed, revived and re-energized. Just in time for bed! What was in that sandwich from Burger King, earlier? That's what my grandpa used to call the food at BK. "Sandwiches." Never "burgers." I guess it's correct, but I always thought it sounded funny.

Wherk

It's really sad how there's nothing to discuss here other than work. All I've done outside of work in the last week or so is eat and sleep. And it doesn't stop today like I thought it would. It will tomorrow, though. At least I think it will. I hope to see The Aristocrats this weekend; that sould be fun.

Yay.

I spent the whole day listening to people talk about pre-mature babies. That was the meeting we teched. Some sort of gathering of medical people. Kind of depressing, eh? I can't think of anything worse, really.

There was more work related weirdness, too. I just found out from my director that I was almost written up for not showing up for work on Saturday. I was like "What, HUH??" I was at work! I was told to be at a different property, but I was there. I was assured it's okay as it was a miscommunication on the managment's part. I was right where I was supposed to be.

Tomorrow sees me punching in from 6:30am-2:30pm making it a cool seven days in a row I've worked. Believe it or not, I think that's a new lifetime record. Not much to boast about, but it's true.

Two-fer

The last two days were kind of boring, so it can all be neatly summed up in one boring post. I worked at the M. O. Campbell Center again for another teacher-based event. It was a smaller set this time, which was nice.

The hotel I work out of is hosting a week-long meeting for a bunch of the A/V Directors and Sales Directors who work for my company, so obviously we do the A/V for the event. Here's a chance for the Houston Hyatt crew to shine in front of the rest of the company since they're all gathered in our ballroom.

You'd think.

The LCD projector decided not to work. My co-worker who set it up swears he tested it, and no one doubts he did, but he was, shall we say, "apprehensive" to walk into the office where our boss and our boss's boss was still hanging out when I arrived back there today. Though I'm sure he did nothing wrong, he was still pale. I don't blame him. Isn't it ironic? Don't you think? A little too ironic. There was an A/V mishap at the FREAKING A/V Directors meeting. Oh, well. Even the doctor gets a cold once in a while. Even the mechanic's car can break down. "Physician heal thyself," I suppose.

Tomorrow, I have the wonderful task of teching one mic and running a Marantz cassette tape deck from 8am-4pm. Money for nothing.

A Good Churchin'

That's what I got tonight. A good old-fashioned Texas-style Baptist Churchin'. And, boy, I needed it! There was a church group in the main ballroom tonight having a banquet in recognition of their Pastor. I think it was for fifty years of Service. They even read a letter Fed-Ex'ed to the Hyatt during the event from the White House signed by G-Dubbya, himself. Between all the last minute changes and additions, it was a pretty hectic tech job. I was the sound and lighting guy for the night, and it certainly wasn't boring. I have to admit that some of the speakers were pretty damn, excuse me, darn good orators. They really know how to weave words and make people excited. I'm not sure, but I think I may have been Born Again! If not, then I was this close.

One of the highlights which almost made my head explode were the "Spirit Dancers." This lady came up to me with a CD player/radio boom box and asked if she can put it next to the wireless mic that was situated beneath the piano (which wound up never being used, anyway) for the Spirit Dancers. I said I'd patch it into the sound board instead, and she would come back to the tech table to play the right track when it was time. Well, the time came and WOW, did they dance in the Spirit! It was as though they were sending a Spaz-O-Gram to the Lord, and I think he got it - loud and clear. The Spirit Dancers (I have to assume "Spirit Dancers" is capitalized) rocked the mother-lovin' House!

Everyone was really cool in there, definitely more so than most high-strung, money-crazed corporate clients. And though I'm not a black southern Baptist, at least not yet, it was a pretty fun show.

As The Clock Strikes Three

I didn't leave work until 2:41am tonight, so there's very little I feel like writing here. Tomorrow, perhaps.

Top, Carrot

Spent the first half of the day teching a meeting in a chemical plant in a little town called Crosby, Texas. I don't know how they decided to use our company unless they used us before at a hotel somewhere. It was a little annoying because when we got there, we had to sign in at a security gate and watch a ten minute safety video before we could drive across the road and set up in a little office conference room. What could possibly go wrong? The video discusses what to do in case of some sort of emergency situation. Something about potential chemical spills and not walking down-wind, but cross-wind, keeping an eye on a wind sock to determine wind direction. My only concern would be which direction truck is so we can drive away.

Enough reading about chemical stuff. What you really need to do now is see the most hideous, soul-damaging pictures in the history of photography.

Yawn...

We got back from game three of the series and the Cubs won the two we went to.

I have to get up at 5:30.

Thank you and good night.

Back to Minute Maid

Tonight and tomorrow, we're going back to Minute Maid Park to see the Cubs take on the Houston team for what may very well be the last meaningful series for the Chicago. The Cubs are quickly running out of time in the NL wild card race.

I've always liked going to games since my dad took me to see the White Sox play the Twins back in 1983. That was not only my first game, but it yielded the only souvenir baseball I've ever had. My dad's friend, Arnie, caught a Luzinski home run and my dad scrambled and picked up Ron Kittle ball, cutting his arm, in the same inning.

Lately, I've taken to keeping score on a scorecard. It seems like only really old people do that at ballgames, but it's kind of fun and it keeps your head in the game and makes it more interesting. And if you're not guzzling beer and being an idiot like a lot of people do, staying interested can be a chore in some games.

President of the United States of America, Christopher Walken?

First, let me say that this has all the benchmarks of a hoax, but according to http://walken2008.com/, Christopher Walken has announced his bid to run for President of the most powerful nation in the world. And why not? I've always held, firmly, that one of the villains from Batman Returns should be President of the U.S. one day, and it sure as hell ain't gonna be Danny DeVito. That leaves Michelle Pfeiffer and You-Know-Who. Now, eliminate anyone who was in Wolf and To Gillian on Her 37th Birthday, and I think we have a pretty obvious choice.

Besides, if America isn't a country where you can't use your wealth and fame to become its leader, then America is no place where I don't want to live (??).

Master Quest

Here's a geeky late summer post.

Lately, I've been playing the Master Quest version of The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. I acquired this GameCube disc as part of a bundle promotion for pre-ordering The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker back in 2003, but never really got around to playing it until now. For those who are unfamiliar, the Master Quest is a slightly different version of The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, or "Zelda: OOT." OOT was originally released in 1998 for Nintendo 64 and is, I think, the pinnacle for the series thus far. It's one of the only games I've played that transcends the medium and delivers a concise story; great music thanks to Koji Kondo; remarkable, intuitive controls; fun gameplay and has lots of great character. The Master Quest was originally developed as Uru Zelda in Japan as an add-on for the ill-fated Nintendo 64DD. The differences include "remixed" dungeon layouts which are more difficult than in the original and, since it was released for the GameCube, higher 640x480 resolution. What's fun about playing it again is I can go back and play through the original dungeons and then play the same dungeon in the Master Quest to see what the differences actually are. Often times, it's amusing to see the little things thrown in there just to confuse you, especially if you've played the original game. As such, it's not always harder - just different. For instance, in one dungeon in the original game, you had to dive underwater to activate a drain switch to lower the water level, allowing a floating platform to pass low enough beneath a row of spikes for you to reach the other side. When playing the same dungeon in the Master Quest, after searching for over a half hour for some sort of drain mechanism, I realized you simply board the floating platform and duck beneath the spikes. You could almost hear the level designers laughing in Japanese somewhere. Probably Japan.

Missed a Day (flashback post)

I fell asleep last night earlier than I anticipated, and didn't post here. Does this mean I'm losing my audience and my ratings are beginning to plummet? If this was a TV sitcom, this would be where the power goes out and the family sits around the couch and goes on a flashback trip. So come with me to the basement, foolishly lock the door behind you and let's jump this damn shark together!

Ah, yes.... remember that one time.....

Mmm. The very first post ever. If only we knew, then, the wacky, wonderful adventures we'd have after our families both moved in together.

WHOA!! That was CRAZY!!! A cockroach almost hit me in the back of the head, hahaha!

What's that? Of course I remember special guest star, Nathan Lane. Yeah, he had a pretty wicked cold. Now, if I recall correctly...

He was such a HOOT!!

It seems like only yesterday when I almost bid on that crazy speaker on eBay. Me and my nutty Star Wars obsession!!

Boy, oh, boy. That room upstairs sure is OUT OF CONTROL!!! I can't help but laugh every time I think of how Junior moved all of mom's beloved knick-knacks to make room for his nutty VHS and video game collection, and then the knick-knacks accidentally got given away to charity. I know he meant well, and that cantankerous lady at the Goodwill shop certainly set us straight!! I guess giving $300.00 to charity wasn't such a bad thing after all.

Uh, oh. Is that wacky neighbor raiding the fridge upstairs?? HEEYY, HEELLLP!! LET US OUTTA HERE!!! Oh, good here he comes!

Hey, we're so glad you came over to eat our food.... THIS TIME!! Ha ha.

Hey! DON'T LET THE DOOR CLOSE BEHIND YOU!!

D'OH!

Shelving Crisis

As any collector of anything is aware, shelving and storage space can often be at a premium. My collection is mostly of CD's, games, some old VHS and DVD's, and I'm still running up against a wall - literally.


I know, it might not be so bad if I didn't have all those old VHS tapes. Well, I've already slaughtered that horse, now I have to sleep in it, so to speak.


This is just about all my CD's and DVD's. There's a few more spread about the place here and there. But where to put them?

I used to keep my CD's here, but I've way outgrown it. I know I could still use it for other things; but the problem is, I hate bleeding over from one shelving unit to another with a single format. Be it CD, DVD or whatever; it's just a picky thing I'm trying to avoid. Another problem is that the wire shelves can leave little grooves along the bottom of my cardboard DVD or CD sleeves. It's just an annoying thought to me, that's all. I could buy yet another large shelving unit, but I have no more room. I mean, there is that one corner in the kitchen, but... never mind. I guess I just need a house.

Mundane Post Part III

This will complete the Mundane Post Trilogy, as it will no doubt come to be called by future generations.

What happened today? Not much, really. I just finished reading a story about a New York Yankee fan plummeting forty feet from the upper deck of Yankee Stadium last night. I don't know, it just seems par for the course for Yankee fans. Fortunately or otherwise, he was not hurt since he landed on the safety net. If this sounds mean-spirited, please know that he did it on purpose. He was then arrested and charged with reckless endangerment, criminal mischief and a whole slew of other dumbass-related charges. Had he run out of D-cell batteries to throw from the upper deck at any non-Yankee human being within range, and while looking for substitute ammunition, found only himself? Had he actually confused himself for a D-cell battery??

Mundane Post Part II

Today's one of those days where I try to think of something interesting to put up here, but fail on account of the lack of interesting things to talk about. And I feel too tired to delve into anything worth delving into.

I did go to that meeting, today. They gave prizes out to the guys who's names came up often enough in positive customer surveys in the first half. As I'm a relatively new hire, I wasn't really eligible for any of it. They drew ticket numbers at random and gave away Best Buy gift cards for twenty-five and fifty dollars. The Grand Prizes were a Nintendo DS and a PSP (Playstation Portable). I guess I'll make sure clients get my name and stuff.

Lastly, I have come across the Finnish version of the theme song for Duck Tales, the old cartoon from the 80's. As you can see from this website, it sounds like something totally different if you pretend it's in English. Turn your speakers up for a laugh.

http://uncutohh.ytmnd.com/

Mundane Post

I was only scheduled from 3-7PM today, but I wound up working until 9:30 or so. Much of the day was spent on the catwalk. No, not as a model, cute as I am in certain get-ups, but as an audio/visuals coordinator pulling socapex lighting cable and five-wire video cable high atop an auditorium/gymnasium venue at the M. O. Campbell Center in Aldine, Texas (technically Houston, but I just like the Texan sound of "Aldine, Texas"). The event was a beginning-of-school year rally for teachers of the Aldine Independent School District, which boasts over 150 schools. There were about 5,000 teachers present. After the motivational speaker finished (they actually hired one), and the event ended, those educators cleared the hell out of there as though there were a 10-hour sale on red Papermates™ and three-hole-punches somewhere across town. Then we striked. I'm sure I was a sight to behold as I soaked thorough my polo shirt. Wrapping over 600 ft. of heavy 1-inch and 2-inch-thick cable will do that to a guy.

Tomorrow, I'm 'invited' to a meeting with the Houston region of the company to go over customer service and other things. I'm off tomorrow, but I'll probably go to be on the clock; and so I can, you know, learn about customer service and stuff. So, until then...

Magick

Here's an old one. It's a picture of us from around 1992. I'm making my friend, Matt Denny, hover in the air with the magical, mystical power of the mysterious ouija board. Look at that expression of utter amazement on my face! Look at the expression of fear and terror on his! Just look away from the hair. Again, 1992.

Two Turntables and a Microphone...Actually, Just a Microphone

I'm here working at the Hyatt in downtown Houston for the sole purpose of setting up one (1) microphone for a wedding thingie in one of the rooms downstairs. I got here at 12:00PM and the stupid thing doesn't even start until 6:00PM. That's almost eight hours for a single mic. Talk about extreme down-time. Good thing I brought the DS. Still, there're so many other more productive things I could be doing right now like working at a soup kitchen, counseling drug addicts or cleaning litter off the sides of the highway...... HAHAHA! Who the hell am I kidding!?

Guess The Land Mass

Tonight we cooked out and took a swim in the pool. Then it was Mario Golf time, again. I wonder when this thing is due back?

Here's a contest for you geography buffs. Guess the land mass below the shuttle in this NASA pic.

House on Haunted Hill

I watched this classic Vincent Price movie tonight. I just got the DVD in the mail. It's a special early release of the soon-to-be released DVD with running commentary by Mike Nelson of MST3k. The "special" means it was autographed by him and features a different cover and insert. I also have the late 1930's anti-marijuana propaganda film Reefer Madness and Night of the Living Dead (1968) featuring Mike Nelson commentaries, as well. There's also the Legend Films release of Carnival of Souls, but I haven't seen that one. It should also be pointed out the movies mentioned above have all been colorized. But the original B&W transfers are also included so we can all still enjoy the subtle nuances in the cinematography of Reefer Madness.

As for this movie, it's roughly 435 times better than the 1999 remake with the endlessly annoying Chris Kattan. He's about one notch away from being as deadly as Adam Sandler. I wonder if their tenures on SNL ever overlapped. If so, I'd be surprised if any skit in which they both appeared didn't end prematurely due to the stage suddenly collapsing under the weight of their combined wretchedness. Between Sandler's grating 'baby-talk' and Kattan's super-fey gallivanting and his little femmy dance routine, the cameras would probably overheat and explode or something. I'm still surprised the combination of either of those two and Rob Schneider never had a similar effect. And don't even try to defend Sandler by saying "oh, but Punch Drunk Love was pretty good." I doubt it. I've seen Little Nicky, and I have the deep emotional scars to prove it.

On P. G. Wodehouse

I was just sitting here flipping through a book of stories by the late humorist, P. G. Wodehouse, and marveling at what a master he was of the English language. I may have mentioned my growing fascination with his prose to some of you, but it never ceases to amaze me. I'm glad that he wrote for over seventy years and was so prolific because it means that there will always be stuff out there I haven't read yet. As I was looking for some examples of his writing to post, I came across an interesting article written by the actor, Stephen Fry, who played 'Jeeves' in the series, Jeeves and Wooster, based on Wodehouse's most well-known characters. He praises the other-worldliness of Wodehouse's stories and explains that to try to analyze and explain it would be futile. He also admits that try as they may to bring the characters to life, "the language, however, lives and breathes in its written, printed form." Here are some examples:


Bertie and Jeeves discussing a young man called Cyril Bassington-Bassington:

"I've never heard of him. Have you ever heard of him, Jeeves?"

"I am familiar with the name Bassington-Bassington, sir. There are three branches of the Bassington-Bassington family - the Shropshire Bassington-Bassingtons, the Hampshire Bassington-Bassingtons, and the Kent Bassington-Bassingtons."

"England seems pretty well stocked up with Bassington-Bassingtons."

"Tolerably so, sir."

"No chance of a sudden shortage, I mean, what?"


More from Wodehouse:

- "Unlike the male codfish, which, suddenly finding itself the parent of three million five hundred thousand little codfish, cheerfully resolves to love them all, the British aristocracy is apt to look with a somewhat jaundiced eye on its younger sons."

- "I turned to Aunt Agatha, whose demeanour was now rather like that of one who, picking daisies on the railway, has just caught the down express in the small of the back."

- "What ho!" I said.
"What ho!" said Motty.
"What ho! What ho!"
"What ho! What ho! What ho!"
And after that it seemed rather difficult to go on with the conversation.

- "It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine."

- "She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say 'when.'"

- "The Aberdeen terrier gave me an unpleasant look and said something under his breath in Gaelic."

- "She gave me the sort of look she would have given a leper she wasn't fond of."

- "A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of someone who had searched for the leak in life's gas pipe with a lighted candle."

- "Marriage isn't a process of prolonging the life of love, but of mummifying the corpse."

Bertie Wooster:

"I once got engaged to his daughter Honoria, a ghastly dynamic exhibit who read Nietzsche and had a laugh like waves breaking on a stern and rockbound coast."

Another description of precisely the same characteristics in Honoria give us a very Woosteresque mixture of simile:

"Honoria... is one of those robust, dynamic girls with the muscles of a welter-weight and a laugh like a squadron of cavalry charging on a tin bridge."

And here's a passage from another famouse Wodehouse character, Stanley Featherstonehaugh Ukridge (pronounced Stanley Fanshawe Ewkridge).

"Alf Todd," said Ukridge, soaring to an impressive burst of imagery, "has about as much chance as a one-armed blind man in a dark room trying to shove a pound of melted butter into a wild cat's left ear with a red-hot needle."

As Fry says in his article, "If you are immune to such writing, you are fit, to use one of Wodehouse's favourite Shakespearean quotations, only for treasons, stratagems and spoils. You don't analyse such sunlit perfection, you just bask in its warmth and splendour."

Tee Business

I had the day off and did little else besides house cleaning and cooking tacos for dinner. After that, we played a little Mario Golf: Toadstool Tour on the Cube for a while. It's kind of fun if you're not looking for that whole sim environment. I you are, there's the EA PGA games for that. It's like the Cube's version of the Hot Shots Golf games, but with all Nintendo characters. Funny thing is, I don't really even like golf that much. I've never played the real thing or even any of those Golden Tee cabinets you see at bars for that matter. Golden Tee seems like the ultimate a-hole game, anyway. Dudes who are probably awesome at that game always act like jerks when they play it in public. "I fuckin' OWN at Golden Tee '98, man!" Yeah. Good for you.

...And Looking Up, I Noticed I Was Late!

Yes, I had to be at work at 6:30am this morning. I had to be at the Wyndham Greenspoint, yes, that Wyndham, home of "The Driver," which is about 25 minutes away. So, that means I had to leave at around 6:00am to get there on time. Sounds nice in theory, right? But that's PRETTY FRIKKIN' HARD WHEN YOU WAKE UP AT 6:15!!! Did I mention I was meeting my director AND the regional director? No? Well, I was. But thanks to my "morning skill," some very deft freeway driving and a polite call ahead to announce I'd be a "few minutes late due to traffic," no one even noticed.

Yep, I still have a few tricks up the old sleeve from my high school days.